Episode 38 with Eden Boudreau
Reclaiming My Body After Sexual Assault
– Eden Boudreau
Show Notes & Full Transcript & Book Review (below)
Hello Fat Joy fan, Sophia here. This episode with Eden is so powerful. I’m in awe that I get to shine the light on Eden’s courage and vulnerability. In order to continue hosting guests and producing the podcast, I’d like to ask for your support by subscribing through Patreon or Apple Subscriptions directly from the Apple Podcasts player. As a thank you, you’ll get bonus content with each guest as they get taken through a series of unexpected questions in a segment called Some Extra Fat Joy: 10 Qs.
Content Warning: There are mentions of violent sexual assault, but no details are shared. There is mention of sexual assault of a child, again, no details.
Author and photographer Eden Boudreau (she/her) experienced a violent sexual assault that deeply impacted her relationship with her body. In this episode, she shares her hard-won journey to regaining her body autonomy, how her PTSD symptoms were ignored and she was told to ‘just lose weight,’ and how writing this book helped her recovery.
Using her own life experiences as a bisexual, polyamorous woman who has survived her fair share of adversity as inspiration, Eden’s essays have been published in major publications such as Flare, Today’s Parent and Runner’s World Magazine. Eden also hosts the podcast, Dear Lonely Writer, and her debut memoir, CRYING WOLF from Book*Hug Press arrives on shelves March 22, 2023, which follows her difficult road to recovery after a violent sexual assault, with disbelievers at every turn due in part to her non-traditional lifestyle. In her (minimal) free time, Eden spends it with her three sons, menageries of pets – including a duck named Dave – at their home in Georgina, ON.
Please connect with Eden on her website, Instagram, Facebook, and twitter.
This episode’s poem is by Danusha Lameris and is called “The Heart is Not”
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A Fat Joy Podcast Book Review
Crying Wolf
Written by Eden Boudreau
Respectfully reviewed by A. Cavouras
Content Note: Sexual assault, violence, misogyny, drug use
Book Summary
Eden Boudreau’s memoir, Crying Wolf, opens with a thank you to the reader, a thank you for being there and for witnessing what she experienced. As I am reading the first few pages I feel my heartbeat quicken, my pulse accelerates and my hands feel the rage of a thousand women coursing through them. My mind says you can’t handle this, you can’t bear witness to this, you can’t carry this, over and over in a protective loop as my own trauma seeps through the text, threatening to spill over. I keep reading. Rational me knows that the author survives and triumphs and I want to know how she did it. I want to know how she showed up at the page day after day to share with me, with all of us what I know to be true - we can thrive against all this pain.
Yes. Yes I can carry this.
What follows is a harrowing and horrific story. It is shiver-worthy and haunting from her first page through to the last. Eden does not shy away from the assault and the vividness and skill with which she tells it is both a gift and a curse. This is an experience that will sear into your brain due to her skill with storytelling, but her vulnerability and generosity with her trauma and her path back to herself will keep you turning the pages and living the story long after you put the book down.
What’s Special About This Book
Crying Wolf brings an in-depth and true feminist analysis of how society got here, to a point where victims are not protected or honoured and abusers continue to roam free. Eden does this through her own story, openly sharing her non-traditional relationship, her bisexuality and kink-forward life, acknowledging that the trauma of marginalised communities is deep and wide. She gives you the whole story, more than as a reader you think you can handle, and her recovery journey is long and steep covering drug use, parenting, counselling, and figuring out the staggering weight of living with things that are truly hard. What’s special about this book is the one storyteller at the heart of it all and how her story will resonate through the hearts of many.
Beautiful Lines for Your Heart, Your Mirror, or Your Twitter
From Chapter 13, Hard Truths
“Ishani interrupted my thoughts, “If you do choose to use your name, I can guarantee you will be helping many women be a little braver to tell their story as well.” That was it. It was all I needed to surpass the crippling fear. It wasn’t the first time I had been told that speaking out would help others, but it would be the first time I had the guts to go through with it. “Yes,” I inhaled deeply. “I want to use my name, especially if it could help anyone.”
From Chapter 15, Returning to the Scene
“We were raised to be sheep. I refuse this narrative. In fact, I am writing my own. This time, I don’t give a fuck about whether or not the townspeople will believe my cries; they’ve never come to my rescue and likely never will. I will no longer be just a part of the flock. I am the shepherd, taking my turn, watching for the wolf.”
Respectfully reviewed by A. Cavouras